How to Collect Confidence with Kim Gravel

In today’s episode, our guest is Kim Gravel. She is the host of a bevy of number-one shows on QVC and is a wildly successful entrepreneur, television personality, motivational speaker, life coach, podcaster, and leader in the fashion and beauty industry. In 2016, she partnered with QVC to launch her apparel line Belle by Kim Gravel followed by the Belle Beauty cosmetic line a year later. In five years, Kim has grown her brands from zero to hundreds of millions of dollars in sales. 

[3:07] Why should I listen to you?

I've faced highs and lows in my journey, experiencing moments of financial struggle and blessings. Throughout my career and life, I've gained a collection of valuable knowledge and skills, and this is what makes my story worth listening to. In today's world, it seems like everyone claims to be an expert, but without any actual experience to back it up. That's why it's crucial to seek out individuals who have achieved what you aspire to or succeeded in something you desire. These are the people we should be paying attention to. Whether you can watch or listen to me, if you're looking to start a business, build a brand, or enter the television industry, I believe my insights are worth considering, even if it's just for a few valuable tips.

[4:40] Can you take us back to a point where confidence wasn’t part of your collection of human skills or traits? 

I believe that we are all born with a certain level of confidence and a calling. However, as we go through life, the ups and downs, the mistakes, and the messes that happen to us or that we create for ourselves, chip away at our confidence. The world is a confidence sucker, and we end up losing sight of that inherent confidence that we were born with. But, as we go through life's journey, the mistakes, the regrets, the losses, and the wins all become a part of our message. Collecting confidence is essentially gathering up the pieces of confidence that have been broken and chipped away in our lives and putting them back into our souls. When we were young, we were fearless, and the world was our oyster. However, little by little, comparison, mistakes, and problems chipped away at that confidence. This book is about the journey that I've been on, but also the journey that the reader has been on, and how we have all been collecting our confidence. Some of us may not even realize that we have it, but it's there.

[8:10] How does someone find an approach to calling and pursue it? 

In the book, I emphasize that the concept of calling has been a constant theme throughout my entire life. It can even be traced back to a specific moment in the fifth grade when I started an air band called Rare Edition with my girlfriends. Despite not fully understanding it at the time, I now realize that my role in the band was not as a singer, but as a builder and manager, as they had organized and created the outfits and instruments for the performance. This experience taught me that I have a knack for building and creating, and it served as a foundational moment in the understanding of my calling. So, I encourage readers to trace their own calling back to their earliest childhood memories, as this can help them identify their purpose in life. Despite many people believing they have a purpose, few can pinpoint exactly what it is, and I suggest that doing the work of examining one's past can help in discovering it. 

[10:40] Where did the thread start to gleam? 

Throughout my life, I've realized that I had been chasing the wrong things, including the wrong men and the wrong career. It wasn't until I was around 40 years old that I fully understood this. During a recent interview, a young woman in her early 30s expressed to me that she felt the need to do more. I explained to her that I could do many things as long as I was building something, but that doing only one thing poorly wasn't an option. It's essential to figure out what you are meant to do in life because when you do, an abundance of energy, resources, and opportunities open up for you. This realization feels like a light switch going off in your soul. It's not just about business or creating things for monetary gain. It has to be something that truly fulfills you on an inward level. It may sound cheesy, but this is based on my lived experience.

[18:27] How did you gain the confidence to step out in the face of people who loved you? 

Those little voices in your head and in your life are always talking and talking, but the thing is, they didn't hear the calling - you did. So, you need to consider the source of those voices. When people are clamoring and talking, even your own inner critic, you have to let the voice of your calling be bigger than all the other voices clamoring for your attention. You have to feed and amplify that voice and not let the distractions of everything else be louder than your calling. The purpose is great, but the calling is different - it's a vocation. And when you look up the word vocation, it means a voice calling. It can be a part of every aspect of your life - your relationships, parenting, career, business, and community interactions. Imagine if we all walked in what we were made to do - it would be a whole different world.

[23:30] What do you have to say about mentality? 

You must be bold and confident. You have to enter the room knowing that even if you lack the qualifications or the willingness to take on a job or task, you still belong there. Life requires you to gain experience, and not all experiences will be victories. Failures can teach you more than successes ever could. Many people are afraid to take action and become stuck in their fear. My best friend, for example, was scared to speak in front of people but played a critical role in our business winning an award. She texted me after accepting the award and said that it changed her perspective and she's ready to take on a more significant role in the company, even though she's 50 and I've been encouraging her for three years. The lesson is that sometimes you just have to take the plunge and do it anyway. 

[32:05] What is your message to someone who thinks he can’t succeed because he has failed a lot of times? 

That statement is false, and you're believing a lie that you're telling yourself. The truth is, if I, a middle-aged Southern woman with minimal education, can accomplish what I have in my life, then anyone can. The key is knowing who you are and what you're called to do. Don't focus on your mistakes or your past, as they are building blocks, not stumbling blocks. It doesn't matter what you've done in your life. Also, I appreciate the mention of Kanye because he is a genuine and authentic person. People respond positively to authenticity in a world that often values fakeness and superficiality. Even though I love a good filter, I'm not talking about that kind of thing. I'm referring to the importance of being true to yourself. Faking who you are will only lead to self-doubt, but being authentic may cause temporary vulnerability and remorse, which will eventually fade. Being fake will never lead to true confidence. So, please,be authentic. I'd rather respect someone I'm not a fan of who is genuine than someone who is fake. 

[49:35] What promise did God make to the world when he created you? 

You are a unique and exceptional creation, designed with great care and intention. Your DNA, your calling, and your purpose are all yours and yours alone. God created you with a specific plan in mind and has equipped you to fulfill it. Embrace your individuality and trust in your abilities to carry out the work you were meant to do.

Key Quotes 

[6:50-6:54] You can’t be fully confident if you are not walking in your calling. 

[22:25-22:30] You can’t get confidence from someone who isn’t confident and you can’t learn success from someone who is yet to be successful. 

[26:32-26:40] The reason why we don’t try things isn’t that we are scared of failing but scared of what if it works 

How to connect with Kim Gravel 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgravel 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimgravelofficial

LinkedIn: https://twitter.com/KimGravel