In this episode, our guest is Sherianna Boyle, an author of many books. She’s an emotional detox coach who helps people roll through the different life stages.
[7:27] Why should we listen to you?
It’s not about why, but what. What you sense and feel in someone is extremely important. I process my feelings regularly to show up from a space of feeling rather than reacting.
[9:08] “When emotion is high, intelligence is low.” Does this ring true in your work?
When I was researching emotional detox and then emotional detox for anxiety, I found that we confuse emotions with reactions. Understand your emotions—do you feel or react?
[10:54] How do you get to the “space”?
I had to build the foundation because I realized that our foundation for emotions was manageable. And when it comes to an emotional detox, you don’t manage emotions because you don’t process it.
[16:09] How do you talk to someone who’s in that space to get them to wake up and start doing that?
It doesn’t begin with them. It starts with us. As we process what’s coming up, we become aware of the reflection of a reaction. If you avoid speaking to a sibling, then you’re in a state of reactivity. Avoidance would be like shutting down, minimizing, or ignoring. What is that person doing to you? Minimizing or ignoring—you’re making the same pattern.
[19:32] Sometimes, we want to parent them. We want to teach them, but it begins with you feeling the frustration. Underneath the frustration, it’s not connecting with the person or what they’re doing – it’s the fact that you want to communicate with them, and that’s frustrating.
[20:42] Breathing is going to be a part of that. You can’t process an emotion without oxygen.
[27:02] What drives you to be an expert in this area?
I went through a lot of trauma. It’s like even later on in life, and I’m trying to be more consciously aware of the subconscious feelings I have and managed drives.
[9:57-10:02] “The higher your reactivity levels, the more you’re triggered.”