In today’s episode, our guest is Mark England, a certified language geek. He holds a master’s degree in education and has been researching, presenting, and coaching in the power of words and stories for more than 14 years.
[3:17] Why should we listen to you?
A one-trick pony. One of my business partners joked about that once upon a time. And I took it as a compliment. That’s how our language works for us and how it works against us. I’ve been researching, presenting, and coaching on this one topic for somewhere from full time to overtime the whole time for the past 14 years, and it’s been one of the most enlightening and beneficial studies and practices for myself both personally, professionally that I’ve ever gotten into.
[4:25] When I talk about language, I’m talking about our internal and external dialogue – what we think, what we say and what we write. Most people’s education about language comes down to spelling, grammar, and definitions. Very few people have had any training on how to use their language to stay focused on the things that are important to them.
[6:12] We educate people on how to get their language work for them—another way of saying that is how to use ordinary everyday words to dismantle the victim mentality.
[6:52] Breathing in mentality into the victim mentality
The victim mentality is an acquired personality trait where a person tends to regard themselves as the victim of the negative actions of others even in the absence of clear evidence. The victim mentality depends on a habitual thought process and attributions. If there’s a habitual thought process, in context to me is staring at worst-case scenarios over and overplaying the blame game, creating a ton of anxiety and indecision in my life. And that’s what we did. What are the patterns to it? We mapped them out.
[8:41] How can we convince that person that they’re wrong, but they should spend some time thinking about how they’re thinking?
The Bhagavad Gita says that “self-reflection will take a man further than prayer.” I always thought that was interesting. Do it by giving people straightforward experiences about how one word can make a huge difference in how they see things themselves, their imagination, and how they feel. One specific exercise is to repeat the sentence for me, “how can I ever get over this?”
We have three levels of certification. Level One is where we go into the art and science of systematically and methodically deconstructing people’s victim mentalities using ordinary everyday language. Most people don’t write anything down. It is beneficial to get our thoughts and words written down on paper, including the stories that have haunted us. Once we begin that process, we analyze the words and how we’re telling the story. For all of you coaches out there, it is important that our breath is trapped in our chest. Good luck changing your client’s minds when their breath is trapped in their chest. Get them breathing better.
[8:56-9:02] “The Bhagavad Gita says that self-reflection will take a man further than prayer.”
[25:06-25:12] “It is so beneficial to get our thoughts and words written down on paper, including the stories that have haunted us.”