In today’s episode, our Aaron Huey, Founder and President of Fire Mountain Residential Treatment Center, and host of the #1 Parenting Podcast Show, Beyond Risk & Back. Aaron is on a mission to help educate struggling parents on their kids. Aaron goes beyond simply educating but through “intervention” by facilitating powerful parenting events as a parent coach. He helps kids and teens who are at risk of drug addiction and provide programs to rehabilitate. Today, Aaron shares his thoughts on parenting and why it’s crucial to be mindful of everything you say and act with your child.
[07:00] Why should we listen to you?
The first thing that will keep you listening is how passionate I sound, and most of it has something to do with my life. After spending nine months living in an RV and traveling all over the United States, I’ve learned that not everything shown in the news is the reality of what we go through. I want to have a conversation with parents on what they are ought to do about parenting. After spending 20 years of coaching parents, running a residential treatment program for adolescents, and spending days interviewing experts about development, addiction, self-harm, suicide, etc. Parents need to make shifts right now because things are not heading in a good direction.
[09:52] What do you think the world turns into if we don’t shift?
Why will the world turn into that in the first place? It’s because by looking at how most parents tell their child by “Just grab your britches and sack it up.” You need to understand that first, they won’t, and second, you can’t blame them. They are not as resilient as we are. What is it about us that made us think about treating our children with fragility? It’s because they’re growing up breakable. It’s not on the kids, but us, parents. We, as parents, don’t have to go through a conversation about how kids in classrooms are dealing with anxiety and triggers that we all like to make fun of as adults. These kids are trying to process traumas in their bodies.
[12:41] “Transparency is the new tough love.”
We should work with our kids in a new paradigm that I call “Transparency is the new tough love.” We don’t start the conversation by putting our fingers on their chest, but by admitting our feelings and thoughts on why we want to put our fingers on their chest. Let your child know what you feel and be transparent about it. We are adults, and as adults, we can be transparent to our kids as they can’t currently do that. Many adults act like fools because they think like one, and there is no gap. But I believe that having a transparent conversation where you utilize emotional intelligence and being genuine about it is the gap.
[20:11] What are the flags you can notice in advance?
The curious thing is that the “flag conversation” always puts the parents in a place where if some series of events happen and they are looking for externalized behaviors, most of them would say, “Oh, that’s a sign because they changed; from A to B.” My philosophy is that parents have to take care of themselves first, their adult relationships second, and their children third. Kids tend to mimic what we did. Hence, we need to take care of ourselves first so that our kids will do the same.
[21:53] Ultimately, when it’s time to sit down and talk with my kid who’s in crisis, I want to be the strongest “nervous system” in the room. It means I have done my work, and I am ready to get together and come up with a plan for the kid and deliver the plan.
[23:14] Parent Perspectives
Honor and support your differences as parents. That’s the reality towards unity when the parents agree with something and come together for the child, but it’s not realistic. What’s realistic is that “If I live in this apartment complex, I got on set of rules. If I move, I go another. And if I signed that contract, I abide by it.” You have to teach your child about that because there’s a separation between protecting your children FROM the world and preparing them FOR the world.
[29:56] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?
I am God’s caffeine buzz. When you and I have a moment of intimate communication, we connect to acknowledge who we are and what we have done as a culture in this country. We achieve freedom through honest communication.
[11:55 – 11:59] “You can’t toughen up trauma. You can bury it and burn from it.”
[23:43 – 23:49] “There’s a separation between protecting your children FROM the world and preparing them FOR the world.”
Find Out if Your Child is in the Red, Yellow, or Green by taking the Quiz at: https://brabapp.com/
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Listen to the #1 Parenting Podcast, Beyond Risk & Back on: https://www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com/our-shows/beyond-risk-and-back/